Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run

 

This one is for cat people.

Thanks Cherece for the email.

lol

xx Di

 

CHAIRS AND RUGS: If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug.

If no Oriental rug is available, shag is good.

DOORS: Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season.

GUESTS: Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit on that human's lap. If you can, arrange to have "Friskies Fish ‘n Glop" on your breath. For sitting on laps or rubbing against clothing, select fabric color which contrasts well with your fur. For example: white furred cats go to black wool clothing. For the guest who claims, "I love kitties," be ready with aloof disdain; apply claws to stockings or use a quick nip on the ankle. When walking among the dishes on the dinner table, be prepared to look surprised and hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey, "But you always allow me on the table when company isn't here." Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It isn't necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.

WORK: If one of your humans is sewing or writing and another is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering: A. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You can't be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up and consoled. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between the human's eyes and the book, unless you can lie across the book itself. If it is a news paper, claw at it until shredded.

EATING HABITS AT NIGHT: Remember when you come in during the early hours of the morning after a nice romp in the neighbourhood to make as much noise as possible in order to wake your human slave quick and abrupt. It is most unsettling to be starvingly hungry only to find an empty bowl and a snoring human. If that does not help, climb on top of his/her pillow and start working your way through the hair to get as much nail leverage into the scalp as possible. Never mind the screams. If all else fails, sit on the human’s face, especially after a good, healthy shit, and prepare for a lift off!

Tough Week

 

Enjoy everyone! its an email I received…

Have a super weekend

x Di

 

It all started this morning

When I made breakfast

For the cranky youngsters And fed the baby a bottle.

I loaded up the kids in the car seat

And took them to daycare & school

I was late for work and

Traffic was a nightmare

My husband called my cell Phone to tell me he got laid Off from his construction job

I got to the office

(I'm a Tech Analyst)

My supervisor chewed me out

For misplacing the mouse

I went out for lunch and

Got caught in the rain

I left work early to pick up

My new glasses (wrong size)

Drove the boys to karate lessons

And the girls to tap & ballet

When we got back home, all

They wanted to do was watch TV

Instead of doing their homework

After much chaos, they took

Their baths, got ready for

Bed and brushed their teeth

I read them their Nightly bedtime story

And they finally went to sleep

I tried doing some aerobics

In the living room

Uh oh, I don't think all the 'fast-food' and exercise is agreeing with me

Now, I think I'm getting a migraine

And a runny nose

I'm pretty certain it's the flu

After a long and gruelling day, I crawled into bed and Was just drifting off when

I realized I had forgotten something

Dear Lord, despite the

Topsy-turvy day I've had,I give thanks to you

For all the blessings you've

Bestowed upon me and my family...

Next week, I'm off to the spa and pool for some much-needed rest and relaxation with my girlfriend

That's how MY life is going....How are things with YOU?

LOST DOG FOUND AFTER TWO YEARS

 

I’ve had a terrible week and I  am sure a lot of you have too. Here is a story to brighten your week.

 

LOST DOG – SCOTTBURGH AREA

---

From: Leighton
Sent: 14 December 2009 05:08 PM
To: Valerie and Derek
Subject: Fw: LOST DOG - SCOTTBURGH AREA

Hi all

Please email URGENTLY as Mia went missing last Friday after the pool cleaners left =he gate open.

Mia is sorely missed and her companion is pining for her.

She is very wolf in nature and could be in hiding....

Kindly pass on to all in your address book and anyone in the Scottburgh/Umkomaas area.

Thanks so much.

Lyn

----- Original Message -----

From: Ivan Down

To: 'Leighton'

Sent: Monday, December 14, 2009 2:17 PM

Subject: FW: Emailing: poster Mia

Hi Lyn

Please find picture of our dog as Discussed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From: Valerie and Derek
Sent: 02 November 2011 01:53 PM
To: Valerie and Derek
Subject: Fw: MIA FOUND AFTER NEARLY TWO YEARS!!!

"Mama Mia" Mia is back
Wolf Dog is reunited with us her family after disappearing 22 months ago.
Mia was one years old when we were having work done on our pool, and due to having wolf in her she is very pack orientated and very skitterish. Our side gate as well as our front gate was open and before we could secure her she bolted. We, as her family were heartbroken; we searched intensely for her for a long time using every possible method we could. Wolf dogs are amazing animals but are not for everyone.

We would get phone calls from people saying she had been spotted and we would go to where ever she had been seen, but nothing as time passed. We buried her in our hearts and moved on, that is until last Friday the 27th October. In the mail was a “adopt a stray” and the picture was of her. My son who had come home for the weekend picked the paper up and when he saw the photo just knew and was absolutely convinced it was her.

He phoned the number and this dog, a female was at the local vets she had been there for eight days, she had been caught in Umzinto. A very kind man had been feeding her over his fence for weeks but he could not let her into his yard as his dog would not accept it. It was already 6 pm and the ladies were closing up so we had to wait till Saturday morning, the excitement was building at the unbelievable thought that this is, or could be her.

Bright and early Saturday morning my hubby and I rushed to the vet Dr Budgie, and he took us through to the back. I took one look at her as she lay right at the back of the kennel and knew. We bent down and we started talking to her and her eyes started to register, she got up slowly slinking her way to us, we reached in through the fence and started touching her, her tail started to wag and she licked our hands, I was just crying and my heart was soaring, I could hardly see her through all the tears of complete disbelief that after nearly 2 years, here she was in front of my eyes.

Budgie let her out and she started jumping and whining and just displaying so much joy, I had the lead on her and could not get her out of there fast enough.
A lady who works at the vet told me that she showed no emotion towards anybody there even when they gave her treats and tried to be friendly towards her.
My other wolf dog at home a big male heard the car and was waiting as he usually does, and when we brought her out she just ran to him for at least a 10 minute chaotic display of barking, whining, running , jumping and licking reunion that took place between them and us in the middle. Once that was over she ran into the house, knew exactly where the water was, made a bee line for my bedroom and jumped onto my bed like she always had done in the past, and it is just so completely unbelievable, a true miracle that Mia is well and in one piece, and towards us displays the same crazy personality as if it was like she never had left.

We would like to say a big thank you to all those who showed kindness to Mia in the 22 months she was away, and thank you God for protecting her and guiding her back to us. To my son Dodge for being so totally convinced it was Mia, thank you!

Now that I have you all in tears with me go and look at this vid…

This may just be an example of what Valerie felt…

Where there's help - there's  a way

Please feel free to comment… you don’t need a blog to comment, just tick anonymous if you aren’t sure which ID to use.

Bath Time

 

A few thoughts on cat baths....

by The Cat:

 

'But You Said You Loved Me!'

 

'You will pay, you will pay.'

 

'Holy crap, you call this water warm???'

 

'I don't think I like you anymore.'

 

'You Lied !!!!!!'

 

'E.T. Phone home.......quick!'

 

'No, I'm not your Good Little Kitty anymore.'

 

'Traction... .I'm losing Traction!'

 

'I want my Mommmmmmyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!'

 

Oh Hell No !!!!

Smile Time

 

enjoy the smile…

These are a few funnies I really enjoyed…

 

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however, dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.

It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the butt of that other cat/dog who lives here. I cannot stress this enough. Thank you..

Update day

 

It’s Friday and I haven’t updated in a long time…

I have been kept very busy and have been pulled in a million different directions!

This is the one line that has stuck with me this week. Once again I forgot to save who wrote it – so thank you – whoever you were.
“knock – knock, oh I’m here to put you down, ur cats over u… he says you cramping his style.”
This was in reference to the amount of people dumping their pets… there have been way too many cases lately where people don’t take their animals to shelters – the poor souls are left at empty houses, at shopping malls, or even deserted at kennels.

This week Rhino Poaching has been in the news… I followed ABSA’s progress and FB posts and reposted them for those unwilling to join the Aquila Private Game Reserve Page. We have to be aware that things like this are happening even if it saddens us. It’s the only way to educate and know how we can make a difference.
RIP ABSA boy. Your tragic death has brought together more people who are willing to fight to save other Rhino’s and SA wild live that are in danger. Your suffering although horrific was therefore not in vain…

 

 

What has upset me most with humans – and I know I’ve mentioned it before – is how people tend to toss you aside when you do what you want to do with your life… it’s as if they have a plan for your life and they want you to live it accordingly.
I for one can no longer live like this… I have tried to keep everyone happy my entire life, I have been there when everyone else vanished (they were too busy…) I have tried to make everyone proud… - except me…

In the time that I have been putting my heart and soul into animals; long time friends and family that I have always looked up to - have either walked out of my life or made it blatantly clear that they do not support what I do. It’s tough though – this is my life – my existence – and I have to do what makes ME happy.

So don’t expect to see me bowing out of the lives of the precious, voiceless four legged friends; any time soon.

I will however repeat how much I despise how people act and turn a blind eye to cruelty and abuse. You see it’s easier for them to do it. Turn the other cheek and become as much of a coward as the one who abuses.

On the positive side I have to thank the amazing people I have met online who are willing to speak out. Those who I consider to be incredible angels put specially on earth to make a difference…

I have to thank the few friends who have told me they are proud of me… My mom is one of them… to hear this made me smile in an extremely difficult time.

One of my long time friends has made me incredibly happy and proud of her. Through facebook issues and glitches – as well as a difficult period in her life has gone above and beyond the call of duty… Last night I received the most amazing thank you from this angel. It seems that we have been a positive source of energy to each other. Well if you think about it – it’s the animals we have to thank for strengthening our bond. So thank you to all the gorgeous furries.

On to my crazy cats

Miss Mimmo has settled in beautifully. She is a little tornado in the house. Her “dragging” shoe fetish has grown to being shoe protector.
She has learned to open doors too and invited my boy cats into the shower – while I was using it…
She has become everyone’s cat in a way. She follows my daughter, plays with my son sleeps with dad and well; she thinks I’m dirty… She decided that my hair was not clean enough for her liking and gave me a special kitty bath.
She is still getting used to her disability and so are we. She now at least “kitty kisses” Kitt and Stig instead of swatting them when they are on her blind side. Her tail is an issue she hasn’t quite mastered yet. She turned into a cyclone last weekend (at bed time) when it waved past her blind eye – if I wasn’t so exhausted I would have laughed. Silly girl.

Kitt has upgraded from his favourite sleeping places – boxes – and retires to the bedroom at night – on my feet. Although he still likes his boxes during the day… *laughs*

Stig still visits his girlfriend – another cat in our complex – pity that her owners aren’t likable. I say “her” here although “she” could very well be a “he”. We haven’t established that yet. If you know my boy cats – you will know how in love they are with each other… so Stig may in fact be cheating on his boyfriend Kitt…

That is all for now

I hope that you all have a great week end.

xx

Di

Fork In The Road

 

Marriage or Relationship?

If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him..

Then adopt a dog.

 

If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour..

Then adopt a dog

 

If you want someone who will never touch the remote,and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies....

then adopt a dog.

 

If you want someone who is content to get on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores..

then adopt a dog !

 

If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally....

then adopt a dog.

 

BUT, on the other hand, if you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

then adopt a cat!

You thought I was gonna say... Marry a man, didn't you?

No, not at all!!!

I AM SAYING PAWLEEEEEZE COME TO CLAW & ADOPT ONE OF OUR GORGEOUS FURBABES

WILL U SEND ON THIS EMAIL & HELP US TO HOME THEM?

Each animal that is featured

in this email is available for adoption

CALL: JENNIFER 072 642 0850

www.claw-sa.org

DONATIONS ARE MOST WELCOME!!!!

Acc name: CLAW

Account number: 190 512 5232

Bank: Nedbank, Florida Branch Code: 190541

CLAW relies heavily on donations of:

-Pet food-Leads and collars

-Dog and cat feeding and water bowls

-Kennels

-Pet carriers and cages

-Kitty litter

-Veterinary supplies & medication

-Blankets and towels

-Cleaning supplies (rubbish bags, mops, brooms, bleach, hand soap, laundry soap)

-Buckets

-Dry dog food & cat food (we are REALLY low!)

-Canned dog, cat and puppy food

-Shelving unit for cat room

-Heaters for winter

-Fans for summer

-Newspapers

PS…..

'Hear our humble prayer, O God, for our friends the animals. Thy mercy & pity, & for those who deal with them we ask a hear of compassion & gentle hands & kindly words. Make us, ourselves, to be true friends to animals, & so to share the blessings of the merciful.'