An adorable little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp:
“Excuthe me mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?
the shop keepers heart melts and as he points at a glass case, “Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft fuwwy bwack wabby?”
The little girl rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, “ I dont fink my pyfon weally gives a phuck!”
Dis oorlog en n man en sy vrou hardloop uit die huis. Sy vrou skreeu: “My vals tande is nog daar binne!”
haar man se “vergeet die tande, hulle gooi bomme, nie toebroodjies nie!”
voel sleg om te vra maarek kan op you staat maak. Gaan sleg finansieel en ons sukkel erg. Bietjie petrol geld nodig. ons moes van dag kar bottel stoor toe stoot!
HUSBAND: When I get mad at you you never fight back. How do you control your anger?
WIFE: I clean the toilet
HUSBAND; How does that help?
WIFE; I use your toothbrush!
Can you believe the things that happen nowadays?
I was sitting in church and this guy lit a cigarette.
I was so shocked I nearly dropped my beer!
It began with a little girl and it ends with one…
A fire-fighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a
little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and
a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a fire-fighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fire-fighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the fire-fighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied. The fire-fighter looked a little closer. The girl had
tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little partner,' the fire-fighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your
rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go
The little girl replied thoughtfully, 'You're probably right, but
then I wouldn't have a siren.'
Parents… Think of this before you’re too hard on your kids…
Be nice to your kids – they’ll choose your nursing home.
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In my next funnies post I have some mother-in-law jokes for you...
and please dont steal thats not cool.