Monday, 06 June 2011

Smile on Monday?


Garfield hates Monday’s – and I probably dislike them as much as him…

Here’s a little smile to start your week… Open-mouthed smile


‎​Why PLANNING is important ?

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.

In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean.

The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

See Below for the Question Paper:

Q.1. Your Name ........ ........


Q.2. Which tire burst?

(98 MARKS)

a) Front Left        b ) Front Right

c) Back Left         d) Back Right



‎​Blonde standing at the envelope counter in the post office shouting into an envelope. Guy next to her: "what are you doing?" Blonde: "I'm sending a voice mail..."



Are You Confused?

I became confused when I heard the word "Service" used with these agencies:

Internal Revenue 'Service'

Employment 'Service' Canada

Social 'Service'

U.S. or Canada Postal 'Service'

Telephone 'Service'

Cable TV 'Service'

Civil 'Service'

State, City, County & Public 'Service'

Customer 'Service'

This is not what I thought 'Service' meant.

But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to 'Service' a few cows.۬۬

BAM!!!  It all came into focus.  Now I understand what all those agencies are doing to us.

I would hope that you are now just as enlightened as I am.



Lost your pen = no pen

No pen = no notes

No notes = no study

No study = Fail

Fail = no diploma

No diploma = no work

No work = no money

No money = no food

No food = you get skinny

You get skinny = then you get ugly

Ugly = no love

No love = no marriage

No marriage = no children

No children = alone

Alone = depression

Depression = sickness

Sickness = death

Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you will die.

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